Hyphenated last names which is first

Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Making big decisions is an essential part of wedding planning, from picking your flowers to finalizing your guest list. However, few if any of these will be carried with you for the rest of your life. One that will? Deciding to keep or change your last name—and the time to think about your surname is well before the ceremony.

A hyphenated last name is when you and your spouse combine both of your last names with a hyphen. This is also called a double surname. It becomes a legal document after the marriage when the officiant files it. You might want to keep the name you have, but if you are changing your name, you have options:. Here, we're exploring the last option, hyphenating your last name, with help from expert Valerie Freeman.

Meet the Expert. She completed Design House Prep School's Wedding Etiquette study and has eight years of experience as a wedding stationer.

In Britain, hyphenated double surnames were historically passed down to heirs. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers. A member of the community asks :. My boyfriend and I are expecting our first child together. Well, we are discussing names, and I said I want the last name hyphenated.

We already agreed to hyphenate the last name. My question is does it matter whose last name is first? Also, whether I do get married down the line to him or not, I will hyphenate my last name.

My parents had 3 girls. Oftentimes, hyphenated last names are described as a merge of a woman's "maiden" and "married" names her prewedding surname and her spouse's surname.

But this name change option definitely isn't gender-exclusive. Either or both! Or, more specifically, if you hyphenate two last names, which one is your legal name postwedding? The answers are yes and both, so long as you've undergone the legal name change process using the hyphenated surname—more on that below. Just keep in mind that once you opt to hyphenate, you have to stick with it, as all formal documents and situations requiring exact identity such as airport customs, job applications, tax filings, etc.

You can't hyphenate and then flip-flop between your original name and your partner's name when it comes to official paperwork. You can't drop the hyphen or switch the order of the two last names either. All that said, some people do use just one or the other in casual settings, like when they're making restaurant reservations. That way, they avoid having to spell out both hyphenated names over the phone.

The biggest advantage of hyphenated last names is the absence of having to choose between two last names. It allows you to retain your identity while still legally adopting your partner's moniker. However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. If you become a parent and one partner has a hyphenated last name while the other doesn't, you may have a different last name than your children. Believe it or not, there could also be technical difficulties.

Some online forms may not correctly read or register your name think: counting the hyphen as an invalid "special character". And according to Jake Wolff, the founder of popular name change service HitchSwitch , character limits come into play too. If your two last names are really long combined, they may not fit and you could actually have to choose a different surname option! Even if they do fit on your IDs, you may run into future roadblocks writing them out in full.

Once the wedding is over and you're ready to adopt a hyphenated last name, you'll need your marriage certificate to initiate the change. The document lets you legally take your partner's surname or a combination of your two last names after marriage.

In some states, the marriage license application asks soonlyweds to declare their married name before the wedding day. Pay close attention, because if yours does and you don't, you'll have to petition the court for a name change instead which is a much more involved—and usually costly—process. In other states, the application asks for just your original names. In that case, you have until after the wedding to decide on a course of action.

Check out The Knot's step-by-step guide to changing your last name. Psst … we also have how-to guides by state. There's also the option of a name change service like HitchSwitch , which really cuts down on the research and paperwork you have to do.

The team has seriously impressive expertise in all sorts of name change situations, so you can go to them with any specific questions you may have about how to hyphenate your last name. Even with all the headaches the name can cause, it feels right to me to retain the name with which I grew up, but at the same time call myself something that reflects a major milestone in my life.

For now, at least. By Lara Rutherford-Morrison. Spelling your name over the phone is a huge chore. See All Health Relationships Self.